A pinch of salt

Shailaja was gently running the comb through her long dark well-oiled hair as Nalini sat on the chair, intently gazing at herself in the mirror. "Am I pretty Ammu?” she suddenly asked.  Her mother, who had been accustomed to this question, answered as always, "You are sweetheart!" This had become a mother-daughter ritual between Shailaja and Nalini ever since Mayuri had joined Nalini's class in the tenth grade; three years ago, to be precise. Mayuri's heart-shaped glowing face with its disarming dimpled smile and demure eyes was dancing like a flame on the mirror in which her dark corpulent body was gradually fading away. She peered close into the mirror and dilated her round brown eyes bordered by thick dark brows. It was time to remove the lenses. Back in India, she was used to wearing thick glasses in the range of -12. She had worn them since she was five, which had earned her names like chashmish or chaar ankh from her classmates. With her lenses out of the way, Nalini bared her teeth and the gold-plated stainless steel braces stared back at her. She was allergic to nickel, a common component of the traditional braces. And while clear braces were considered too fancy and brittle by her mother, the titanium ones were too costly. Left with no choice, she had to stick to the vicious gold ones. "Do all bad things have to happen to me?" she cried aloud, "spectacles, nickel allergy and even a mole on the chin? why God why?"

With heart as heavy as lead, she dragged her body to the bed, put her night cap on and crashed into the cold comforter. Sleep was far from the eyes and she kept staring at the ceiling. Nalini had immigrated to Canada from Hyderabad six years ago with her family. Once in Canada, the family took up residence in a small Telugu neighborhood and her parents started working at a large warehouse store in the vicinity. Nalini had quickly become popular in class. Obedient and modest by nature, hardworking and studious, she had won many friends as well as the affection of her teachers. Everything was going very well for her; good grades, annual awards, life was rewarding if not perfect. However, all good things come with expiry dates, so did her happiness, which expired in 2009. Mayuri was a tall fair athletic Tamil speaking Canadian. She was the daughter of a bank consultant and had taken a transfer to Nalini's school after her father had to relocate. With her angelic face, charming smile and perfect curves she quickly became the subject of discussion for the small community of South Asian students attending the school. While many of the girls befriended her to bask in her reflected glory, the boys fought over who she would date next. And then there were the rest who were jealous and therefore, indifferent. Nalini differed from everyone in her opinion of Mayuri. She knew that behind those coy eyes and captivating smile, was a girl who was as insecure as she. However, Nalini always felt painfully self-conscious around Mayuri because her homeliness magnified manifolds whenever Mayuri was around. So Nalini strived to maintain her distance from Mayuri, even as she kept watching her friends disappear one after the other from her side, until she was left with two- Ashley and Yung, who had absolutely no knowledge of this community's dynamics. But life never forgives those who hide behind their melancholia. Amongst Mayuri's latest victories was Arvind, Nalini's most cherished neighbor and long-hidden crush. In short, Mayuri was the reason for her heart-break and Nalini felt absolutely defeated. Since then, three years passed like three great Canadian winters. She has acquired new friends, grieved the loss of old ones and safeguarded the friendship of Ashley and Yung with all her care and attention. She studied hard and prayed harder so her miseries could expire just like her happiness once did. Someone above had heard her prayers; it was all going to be over. By the end of the week she will be free, or so she thought.

It was the morning of her second semester chemistry examination. These were the final set of examinations that would qualify her for the university, where she had decided to pursue a degree in architecture. Every thing was going fine. Her art works were in place, English paper had gone better than she expected. Physics, Calculus and advanced functions to go, she thought, as she quaffed down the last few ounces of milk from the cornflakes bowl. This was the only way by which Nalini could prove her superiority. She would prove to the world that beauty was just skin deep. She would obtain those things in life that were beyond the reach of Mayuri. And when Mayuri would be dusting files, she would be making the strongest bridges and the grandest buildings of Canada. Nalini could smell the fragrance of victory as she lifted the salt shaker to sprinkle some grains onto her tongue, as her mother had over sweetened the milk. Unfortunately, in her exuberance she accidentally sprinkled the salt right into her throat. The salt made her so nauseous that she had to rush to the washroom and vomit her breakfast out.

Utterly disgusted with herself, Nalini left for school early. The day however turned out better than she had anticipated and chemistry surprisingly proved to be better than English. To add to her joy, while leaving she found Mayuri sitting at her desk and staring at her paper as though she were seeing a ghost!

This morning, it was a no to cornflakes given yesterday's debacle. Her mother had cooked Nimmakaya pulihora for an evening get together and she sat down for a hearty brunch. No sooner had she started to eat than she bit a fiercely hot green chilly. Stung by the burning sensation Nalini felt as though she was choking.  She began to sweat profusely, her legs grew wobbly and her vision started to blur. Soon her eyes started watering and her face went red. She gulped down two glasses of water and ended up vomiting again. Disquieted by the untoward beginning of the day, Nalini initiated a heated debate over the usage of chilies in the preparation of food with her mother; "antha mana manchike", was mother’s optimistic conclusion. The examination went as Nalini had expected making her forget all her complaints. She went back home, apologized to her mother and after brushing up for her Calculus exam for a while, Nalini went off to bed.  

           

Wednesday morning sailed smoothly. Nalini stuck to bread, butter and a banana and nothing went wrong. At school, she sat down contentedly at her desk and began waiting for the question paper.  But as she started writing the test, she realized that this paper would not go as well. In fact, by the end of the exam her face looked exactly the same as Mayuri's had.

                

Friday saw an anxious awakening. Far from being confident, she sat at the breakfast table, reviewing her notebooks and making a mental note of all the things that could prove useful for the examination.

Nalini could hear her heart beating louder and louder, as she sat at the desk reading the question paper. And suddenly, it stopped with a thud. She panicked realizing that she would run out of choices. Terrified, Nalini sprang up from her seat, managed to excuse herself and dashed to the toilet where she emptied herself out into the washstand. Splashing some water on her face, she steadied herself to face the ordeal. Strangely enough, the paper seemed to reveal another question. She had been magically awarded her last selection and restored in her comfort zone. Her face beamed as she completed her test and returned home, immensely satisfied with her performance. It seemed as though the disgorgement God presiding over her abdomen was presently presiding over her performance in the examinations as well.

                

The days of torment were over. University was now awaiting Nalini, where she would not allow any Mayuri to break her spirit. There remained just one obstacle- the interview. In order to be accepted at the university for the course of Architecture, Nalini will have to face an interview and a written examination in English. And she would begin preparing for the same, wasting no time.

                

The fateful day finally arrived. She had asked her mother to prepare Nimmakaya pulihora with lots of chilies. Nalini woke up early and after the morning chores were done with, she treated herself to a bowl of cornflakes. An hour later, she helped herself to two servings of the rice. She wanted, she intended, she had arranged to vomit. To that end, Nalini deliberately bit a chilly, stuck her finger in her throat and finally poured a generous pinch of salt down her epiglottis. Yet nothing happened; she could not make herself disgorge so much as a speck or a grain. Feeling absolutely incapacitated, she gathered her folders and headed to the venue of her interview. Throughout the day, she kept feeling uneasy and often her stomach would emit strange sounds. Every now and then she felt nauseous, yet she was unable to relieve herself from the agony. The interview and the written exam were equally abominable as Nalini kept striving to deal with her discomfort. Utterly ashamed of her own conduct, Nalini returned home feeling sick and exhausted. Shailaja detected Nalini's discomposure and advised her to take a bath and join the family for dinner. As soon as she entered the bathroom, her stomach twitched, her mouth bloated, and she immediately hurled. Running some water in the washbowl and splashing it on her face Nalini looked up at the mirror in utter disbelief. Irony of life?